Name: Champion Mindset
Uploaded: 2025-06-26
Duration: 18 min 45 s
Description: At the Fuel Up with Fortune event in Cannes, Washington Commanders defensive tackle Efe Obada shares how he overcame imposter syndrome after surviving trafficking, homelessness, and life as an undocumented immigrant.

At the Fuel Up with Fortune event in Cannes, Washington Commanders defensive tackle Efe Obada shares how he overcame imposter syndrome after surviving trafficking, homelessness, and life as an undocumented immigrant.

Champion Mindset

Washington Commanders defensive tackle Efe Obada

Conferences

you know, she alluded to the journey you've been on, and I couldn't even do it justice by trying to explain it, so I'm going to leave it to you and to give us a snapshot of the, I would say a million to 1, it's probably not even a million to 1 from the journey you've been on to where you are now as an NFL star. Tell us briefly about That journey and what you what you've been through to get where you are. I'm so nervous, but. But um thank you all for having me, and it's a pleasure to be here. Um, my name is EL Para. I am a defensive end. I've just finished my 3rd season with the Washington Commanders and um I've been in commander fans over here, um, and I've been in the NFL for the past 10 years. Um, as you can tell by my accent, I'm, I'm English, but I was born in Nigeria and um I think at the age of 5, we emigrated to Holland to meet my mom. And myself and my sister, she has learning difficulties and in that situation it was very hard for a single mom to, you know, look after her and myself and just at the time there just wasn't a lot of facilities and infrastructure to support her needs. So the plan was for us to, you know, move to England and for a better life as you do, um, but things didn't work out. I was, I was left homeless, myself and my sister at the age of 10, and foster care came into. Came into the play, so I grew up in foster care. I bounced from home to home. I've lived with probably more than 10 different families. Um, and because of the way that we were, um, we emigrated to the UK, I was trafficked. um, I was undocumented, um, so I think one time, but I did go to school because it was free and it's, you know, it's Europe, yeah, thankful. Um, but there was a scene and I couldn't go to university, I couldn't work, um. I couldn't do anything really. I couldn't progress my life, um, you know, when and where I grew up, I grew up in South London in a city. um, it was very easy access to certain things in a certain lifestyle, um, and I got caught up in that unfortunately, but it wasn't a means of, it wasn't, uh, because that's who I was and that's my personality. It was just a means of providing and surviving and making sure that my sister had, you know, necessities and needs, you know, as a woman and, and, um, and someone I care and I love I love and just. Um, but I got in trouble, not proud of it. Um, had to sit down for a year, and, um, but it, you know, it took time to reflect, um, and then when I came, when I got back into life, um, I found American football. I met one of my friends and he was, when I met him, he was very skinny, you know, when I saw him and he was huge and You know, so I thought, you know, and where I come from, if, if you, if you're big, you've obviously, you know, done some time and then, you know. So I was like, oh, when did you come out and he's like, no. So he was like, no, um, I play American football. Why don't you come in and try it out? And I had nothing to do at the time I was working in a warehouse, you know, because that's the only job I could get as an undocumented person. It was cash in hand and all those things, um, so I took, took a day off, went to practice, and it was, it was strange. It was like in the, in the blocks in the hood and you know, I saw a group of men wearing pads and helmets and things like that, and I've never seen anything like that. Um, I tried it out. I felt a sense of community and brotherhood immediately because when I hit someone, I thought I did something wrong, but then everybody cheered. They were like, oh I was like, oh yeah, like, do it again. I was like, OK, it. So, um, you know, so and but for me because of where my life was at the time, it was an amazing outlet. It was an amazing part to be a part of a brotherhood and a community like I said, and it gave me that um it was a pay to play league. I had to pay to play, but at the time, you know, it was fun. Um, there was a coach at the time, he was doing an internship at the Dallas Cowboys and, um, with the expansion of the NFL playing in different countries in 2015, Dallas came over to London. And he saw my high my potential and I guess my anger issues and And he spoke to the defensive coordinator at the time and said, Hey, I've got this kid, you know, just to take a look at him if anything happens, you know, whatever. So he phoned me up and said hey, come after practice. I went down there, um, he said, run as fast as you can hit, do everything as fast and as violent as you can, and that's what I did. I didn't have any. Um, you know, we facilities or anything like that. I literally ran in my boxes and hit bags in my boxes and all that stuff and went back to work for nothing of it. The following year, the Dallas Cowboys gave me a call and said they want to sign me to their team and um but then I was like, yeah. But, but then I was like, yeah, that's all great, but I don't have a passport. How the hell am I gonna play in America, you know, but they were able to help me and um, you know, I was able to get documents and uh went out there. I still wasn't as smooth, still had my nose, all my mistakes. I was making the NFL, um, I got released like so many times, but I just kept going. I knew that this was my golden ticket and this is my opportunity to changed my life. And um the average lifespan of an NFL player is 2 to 3 years if you're lucky, and I've been playing for 10 years. So. So as I said, I don't think a million to 1 does it justice really that is so extraordinary and you touched on it yourself, you know, you said there's a certain lifestyle, you know, where you were in South London that you know, a lot of people get suckered into. We've all seen it on news or TV shows or everything. And it makes a lot of sense for the for the people in that environment, right? It, it's not an easy thing to break away from. And you said there was something in you that wasn't. That wasn't about that life, right, so What were your mindsets, and what were the, what were the core mindsets that you were using and the habits that helped you keep going and break out of that and make you think that it's not impossible to break out of that? Um, so I, I believe that we're products of our environment, right, and you know my environment hardened me, you know, I was always in fight or flight mode. I needed to survive. I had someone that. Um, depended on me, which was my sister and I needed to provide for, so everything that I do all the decisions I made with the limited opportunities that I had was for that simple goal just to make sure food was on the table, that she had clothes, that she had sanitary, that she was safe, that she was protected and whatever I needed to do. In order to become that person and, and to, to produce results. I, I did, you know, um, conventionally, if I had means or if I had a passport, if I had, you know, documentation, I would have went a different route. If I was in a different situation, if I had the support and leadership of parents and and and people that cared or mentored me, I would have went a different route, but my, my role models were, you know, unfortunately drug dealers and kept murderers, and that was what I was around. Um, so I, I had to make the most of the means, um, but the mindset was also because I had, I had someone I cared for, I can, and I needed to provide for. It was. It was just survival mode, you know, I just needed to survive. I needed to make sure that. You know, I knew that no one was coming to save me, and that, that mindset allowed me to just make sure that I needed to do what I needed to do in order to survive and provide. Was, was there a specific moment where you thought, where you actively chose to break out of that survival mode and thought, right, I'm I'm gonna focus on, on my growth here, on, on, on my journey and the way I want it to be? Uh Um You can tell I don't, I don't know, it's a great question, but I don't think I haven't experienced what I've experienced, haven't come from where I come from, haven't seen what I've seen that that. Ever goes away, I think growth naturally happens as you age and as you become, you come in different environments and you try new things, but that level of survival, it it never goes away. I know, I don't have a safety net. I am the safety net for a lot of people. I have the safety net for my family, and if I don't wake up and if I don't do what I need to do and be where I need to be and, you know, and make those changes and grow within myself, like everything around me crumbles, you know, and ultimately no one's gonna come and save me. So. Um, that level of survival isn't, and at the same time, it, you know, I love it because it's who's made, what's what made me who I am today. I don't think it, I'm not trying to get rid of that, no. I don't, I don't want to get complacent, yeah, it's still the main driver for you. OK, now, obviously, you know, careers in sports that they're built on a lot of nos, even, you know, this journey that you've had, you must have had. An amount of rejection or amount of nos, like, how do you deal with that and how does that drive you forward? Because we all get nos in our careers, whatever they are. How do you drive yourself forward from from those nos and those setbacks? You face a lot worse, obviously than someone saying, you're not going to play this weekend, you know, you're right. Like at every, at every stage of my life I've experienced knows whether it's, you know, foster carers saying, no, I don't want you to live in my house and packing my stuff and leaving, whereas the UK government saying that we, you know, here's a deportation order and trying to kick me out, you know, um, whether it's McDonald's trying to apply for McDonald's, and they say that they don't want, they don't want me because I'm undocumented, and I'm like, wait, like, I'm not gonna flip a burger, come on. You know, um, yeah, or even in the NFL where coaches have said to my face, like, you know, you will never play it down a sport. Um, I just, I just see it as it's then no isn't my reality. I don't internalize it, you know, um, I just see it as maybe no, not today, or no, not right now, but ultimately I've had to, you know, not take it personal, and I've had to go away and do the work and turn myself into someone that they would say yes to and. I think at this point in my life I'm not really receiving a lot of those. Good, thank you. I think, you know, a lot of people struggle with that, you know, a lot of people, we all face knows and it's kind of easy to kind of go into your shell a bit and like what what would you say to those people who are struggling to get back out there and you know, for them to realize that a no is not a no forever, it's just, you know, no for now. Um, I think what I would say is don't take it personal, you know, and that no isn't your reality. It's, it's, it's not personal and sometimes that no is a delay and you need to do the work, you need to look internally, you need to, you need, and he needs to prepare you for me when I started playing, I made all like so people had was playing the sport from the age of 5 and. You know, they had years of preparation of knowing who they were, knowing what type of player they were, knowing what type of brand they wanted to put out there. I started playing the game at 21 and in at 22 I was in the NFL making all my mistakes, um, learning how to grow, and, um, and it took me 3 years to get on an active roster and that I got so many nos I put I tried out for. Maybe 10 different teams, you know, and I was like this, this team said no, all right, cool, there's, you know, 31 other teams that team said no, there's 30, you know, there's 30 other teams that, so I just kept going and kept, kept being resilient and understanding until one team said yes. And once that team said yes because of those nos, because of my resilience, because of that work ethic, because of not, not accepting that, when I did get my yes I was able to sustain that. I was able to understand the requirements to. You know, and I've already changed myself and molded myself to, to becoming someone that, that, that is worthy and deserving of that yes, you know, you could, like a lot of people can say yes, some a lot of people get yeses off the rip. And but they haven't become that person that deserves or can sustain that, yes, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So you know, you found your purpose through football, and now you give back to the youth in London through your foundation that we launched shortly and your mentor work with London youth big kids and NFL Academy. How important is having a sense of purpose when when building that resilience and How can companies help their employees connect their work to to a deeper mission in the same way that kind of you have? Um, So initially my, my purpose was, you know, providing, and it always will be and it is, um, just that's just my core, just to be able with someone to provide, um, so. That was my wife. That was my, that was my main driver. I needed to make sure that I can provide for my family, provide for myself, because I know no one's gonna come and save me. So when I got to a point where I achieved that, so it was like, you know, get on the team, make money, save money, all that stuff, when I achieved, when every milestone that I have to achieve it, you know, it, I had to keep look internally and I had to like figure out what my, my, my real purpose was and after I've achieved and I've secured. I guess financial stability, um, I realized that my, my upbringing and the the communities that I live in and my family lives in needs, needs help. It needs role models, it needs a voice, it needs someone that has that can show that listen, it doesn't matter where you come from, it doesn't matter where, um, you know that your life experience, it doesn't define you and whatever that dream is, whether it's football, whether it being a doctor, whether you can achieve that, right? So that's why I partner up with these amazing, you know, um, initiatives and programs that do a lot of mentorship, and that's, that's my aim. Like I said, my role models were drug dealers and murderers. So I go back and I want to make sure that. I can be that person that I never had, and I think um I think businesses can do that by. You know, all humans, you know, and working for corporations, but you need to understand your why. Like when you work and you come to work and you go home, like you need to really figure out what your why is, like how can you be leave an impact whether it be in your life, in your family's life, in your community, and if we do that, eventually, like the net starts to widen and then then we really make some real changes, but for at least like you just got to figure out what your why is, you know, and sometimes it's money and it's OK. And but sometimes it can be, you know, I really wanna, where you want to make a real change in this specific area and that's, and that's, that's OK too. Uh, OK, you've openly discussed, uh, mental health mental health in the past and, and self-doubt. So what are the strategies that you've used personally to, to overcome those mental hurdles? Yeah, so as you probably figure out, like just because of my upbringing, I had a lot of demons, I had a lot of issues to deal with. Um, when I went into the NFL, I had a lot of imposter syndrome. I felt like I never belonged like coaches, players, everyone told me that I didn't belong, you know, um. So I had to overcome that and you know I did the conventional thing. I did therapy. I did. You know, uh, you know, all that stuff, and I've, and I've even, I'm not proud of it, but I've even gone left and, you know, self-medicated and did all that stuff. Um, but none of that stuff helped, um, and I think it was when, and I was like, honestly, I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed where I came from. I was embarrassed about my upbringing. I felt ashamed. I didn't want to tell people that I was trafficked. I didn't want to tell people I grew up in foster care. I didn't want to tell people like anything. I just wanted to go to work, put my helmet on, play the game, collect my checks, and go home like I that's, but ultimately like I do some issues and within myself that I hadn't dealt with and it was presenting itself in other ways within my marriage, within my community and all these different things and it wasn't until I started being more vocal about my my upbringing and, and using my, my life as a means of um inspiration and motivation for my communities and the kids that I'm mentoring. That I started to um See some growth and some healing in my mental health because not only did it allow me to own it, it also gave other people that I was communicating the the platform and the confidence to be able to express what they're going through. It might not be the same, but everyone we will go through some stuff like every one of you for you to be here and you've you've had to overcome some hardships. You've had to overcome some nos. Um, but it allowed people to come to me and express that and feel comfortable to express that. So even with my teammates, one time I spoke in front of the team and I shared that because everybody was losing and I wanted everyone to and everyone was turning against each other and I wanted everyone to like understand and I was always smiling. I was always happy because I was like. You know what I mean like who gives it like, like we're we're blessed, you know, and I wanted people to gain that perspective and understand that like we are so blessed to be able to play this sport and to be able to be who we are and have that platform, and I did that and I, and I was very vulnerable and very open and then afterwards like teammates that I've been on the team with for like maybe 2 or 3 years, um. Came to me and they started opening up and that relationship deepened, you know, it wasn't surface level anymore. It wasn't superficial. It was like, you know, I got to know who they were. I got to know their reasons. I got to know their whys and then we just bonded. So I think when I started opening up and owning my truth and living in my life. I was able to, and it just it wasn't this cloud and this thing that was, you know, weighing over me, so I think The expression was, was really heathen for me. That's absolutely inspiring stuff, and it might be too late for a lot of us to make the NFL, but I'm sure we can all apply some of these lessons to our every yeah, do you think so? Yeah, we'll talk. Um yeah, I'm sure we can all take these lessons and apply them to our own everyday life and you know, further our own growth and achievements. But FA Obada, thank you so much. We were going to do a Q and A. I I think you're gonna stick around for a little while. So if you want to speak to, please do. a great guy. Thank you, thank you for listening. I really appreciate it.